My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
