Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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