Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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