I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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