I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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