windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
