was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
