Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
