Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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