at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
