I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
