Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
