i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
