and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
