Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
