This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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