It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
