We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
