Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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