Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
