yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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