Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
