I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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