I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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