I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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