True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
