Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
