I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
