She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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