ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
