i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
PANTIES FOUND
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