I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
