What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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