Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
