just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
