In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
