i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
