Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
