I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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