After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
His nipple licking is glorious
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