you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
