I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
