If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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