AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
