I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
