Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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