Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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