so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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