Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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