I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
