angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
