Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
