Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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