I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
