i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
